Embracing Self-Love

Embracing Self-Love: A Journey of Empowerment and Fulfillment

According to Merriam -Webster, the official definition of self-love is: 1. an appreciation for one’s one worth or virtue, 2. proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well being, and 3. an inflated love or pride in oneself.

Self-Love became a buzzword that gave a new meaning to the orginal definition, the inflated love and pride of oneself; in the 90’s, Self-Love evolved from the pits of narcissm to become the new thing to have. We were expected to practice self-love because it was not selfish any longer. We live in a world that is obsessed with appearance and expectations from family and friends and coworkers and neighbors and, well you know, it is a running narrative in our lives. Those are the very reasons we need to practice self-love.

The Importance of Self-Love

So why is self-love so important? Take a moment and imagine your perfect life. See yourself in your mind’s eye living your best life. What does it look like? Are you healthy? Are you happy? What does your family look like? What about your friends? What do you do for work? Where do you live? What do you do for fun?

What would it take for you to become that person?

Self-Love is the proper regard and attention and an appreciation for one’s worth; this is the foundation needed for which to live your best life. Of course it feels selfish, it feels natural to take care of everyone and put everyone else first. It is time to get over that feeling of selfishness, and the only reason you need is because you are the only one who gets to be there for every moment of your life. It just makes sense that you should love yourself.

Self-love is important because it gives you the life you want. Loving yourself means that you are doing the things for you to ensure the proper maintenance of you. Taking care of yourself in all the ways you know you need to. You are worthy of that image you saw in your mind’s eye. You can be that person. To answer the question of why is self-love important – because you deserve to be that person. You already are that person, you just need a better maintenance plan.

Practical Steps Towards Self-Love

First and foremost, self-love is a continuous journey. The reward is a life well lived in the pursuit of making that image in your mind’s eye a reality. Let’s explore 5 practices you should incorporate.

Be Unapologetically Yourself

You are worthy of love and respect, just the way you are. As Dr. Suess said, “You are you that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” We tell children this and then fail to apply it to ourselves in the pursuit of fitting in. Practice loving who you are, start with the image you see in the mirror; stop criticizing that face and body, without it you would not be here. Instead take a moment to thank your body for everything it does for you.

Pursue the things you are passionate about. Be you without shame. Embrace your sexuality. Release any shame you feel about yourself. Shame can destroy you both mentally and physically. Recognize your unique strengths and qualities and make the most of them. When you are unapolagetically you; you show others what loving yourself without shame looks like.

Create a journal to help you with your self-love path. Find three things to be grateful for each day. Feel free to start with feeling grateful for opening your eyes today. Create a separate journal for ideas; this is where the creation of your life begins.

Give Yourself Grace

Everyone makes mistakes, acknowledge them, make the needed corrections, learn from them, and let them go. Dwelling on your mistakes does not change them and just serves to bring you down. Make the next best decision and move on.

Speaking of bringing you down, that overly critical voice in your head needs to be shut down; give her a name, and then tell her to take a flying leap off a very high bridge. You can also write her a break up letter and then destroy the letter as a way of setting her free. Self-love is showing yourself compassion for being human.

About that human thing, let go of the need for perfection, you are guaranteed to have a failure or two along the way. The important thing is that you do not let them keep you down. Self-love is an ever-evolving journey, and adjustments can be made at any time to accomodate. It gives the you confidence and resilience so you can better handle the ups of downs of life. Imagine how you would respond to a dear friend who was struggling with a difficult situation. You would likely offer them words of encouragement, empathy, and support. We need to extend that same level of care and understanding to ourselves.

Mistakes make space for growth and self-improvement. We practice self-love when we look at our mistakes with kindness and grace. We allow ourselves to regroup. Take some time to journal about the experience, what are you most upset by and what you could do differently next time and don’t forget what you did right. By acknowledging our flaws and imperfections with kindness, we create space for growth and self-improvement.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care, the part of self-love that can be challenging, because these are the things you let slide for so many reasons. It is one of the most critical pieces of the puzzle that makes up self-love, because this is the part that impacts you in a more direct way. This is the health and fitness part of the program. Earlier, you thanked your body for letting you do all of the things you do, now let’s look at taking proper care of it.

This means setting fierce boundaries around your self-care routine. Fuel your body with a diet tailored to your needs, schedule your exercise, and prioritize your health appointments. Make you sure you include your sexual health, regular orgasm helps reduce stress and it feels good. Plan for the future by creating a budget and retirement plan; learn how to manage your money. Make time for journaling and connect with nature. By incorporating these practices into your life, you’ll ensure that your body is taken care both physically and mentally.

Recall that image in your mind’s eye, Future You created a balance between the the responsibilties of life and the self-love and care that allowed for the image you are imagining. Future you guarded their boundaries to give you a life you are passionate about. You owe it to Future You to practice self-care.

Additionally, don’t forget about hobbies. This is where your inner child can play and have fun. We have the opportunity to explore, create, and express ourselves in the ways that further develop our authentic selves. Get some time on your schedule and guard this boundary as if your self-love depends on it, because it does.

Celebrate Your Wins

This is the part where you get to be completely selfish just for you! Celebrating your wins makes the work you put in for that win worthwhile. So, go all out according to the celebration level. What is a celebration level, you ask? Exactly as it sounds!. Create a celebration journal and start a list of things you want, this can be a material item or an experience, and assign a celebration level to each according to the size of the achievement. This is a fun exercise when you need a little boost of motivation!

Big or small, a win is a win! This creates self-confidence and leads to bigger goals and bigger wins! That image in your mind is getting more real. Make sure to celebrate along the way; your achievements are important: schedule the trip, take yourself out to dinner and eat dessert first, treat yourself to a massage, or buy a new pair of shoes. You get to decide your reward.

We reinforce self-love when we celebrate our wins. Our confidence gets stronger because we achieved something we set out to do. At heart we are like Pavlov’s dogs, we do the things to get the treats. Celebrations are our reinforcements. No matter how small the reward, we send a message to ourselves that we are worthy of recognition and praise. Far too often, we tend to focus on our shortcomings or the things we have not achieved, rather than celebrate our accomplishments. This can lead to a negative mindset and a sense of self-doubt. By making a conscious effort to celebrate our wins, we shift our perspective and cultivate a more positive, empowered outlook, which leads to more wins.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Self-love means limiting the negativity in your world as much as you can. Limit your exposure to negative sources. This can be media, social media, and the people in your life. Find the people who encourage and uplift you. We cannot remove all of the negativity in our world, that would be impossible, but controlling it and making an effort to reduce it where you can is important for your mental health.

We cannot have a conversation about negative influences without mentioning the media. The media can have a positive or a negative impact on you depending on what you are reading, listening to, and watching. What we consume is what we become. This includes what we feed our minds. Reading about a specific subject for just 15 minutes a day can make you an expert in that field in one year and a national expert in 5 years per an article by Ann Kroeker. Recall that image in your mind again, what have they been reading or listening to?

Social media brings a whole different level of negativity and feelings of inadequacy. Limit your exposure to the negative posts, if you notice a friend or acquaintance always posts negative things, you get to make a decision about whether you would like to remain friends with this person or if you would like to utilize the feature that hides their posts for awhile. You can also join groups that are geared towards positivity for a more positive feed. Set a timer to limit the amount of time you are on social media, and remember that just like you, everyone shows the highlight reel of their lives, and pictures are easy to alter, especially wiith AI.

Next on this this list is people you spend your time with. This is very important. Do they make you feel good about yourself when you interact with them? Do you feel energized and ready to take on the world? Spend time with the people who encourage and uplift you. Spend your time with the people who motivate you, are compassionate with your struggles, cheer you on when you win, and make you feel good about yourself, the sounding boards when you need; these are the people who will inspire you and remind you of how bad ass you are when you forget.

Conversely, it is important to recognize the people in your world who are always negative or quick to discredit your ideas. It is even more difficult when it is family.  This is one of the hard parts of self-love, recognizing the need to let relationships go or find a way to limit them if we cannot get rid of them. In the interest of our own self-love this is where we get to be selfish and do what is best for us, even if it means letting them go. This allows us to make room for those relationships that make us feel good about ourselves and support our self-love. Self-love provides the resilience needed for those negative people we come across in our world.

Embracing the Transformative Power of Self-Love

Self-love is a lifelong journey; you are the only one who is going to be with you forever, which makes you the expert on what is best for you. You are going to love yourself better on some days than others. You are going to have wins and losses. Give yourself grace and celebrate your wins. Creating the habits and setting the boundaries around your self-care will ensure that the image in your minds eye becomes a reality.

The best part is that as you practice self-love, it will have a ripple effect on the rest of your life. Your love will be noticed by everyone around you, because you notice the people who are smiling and enjoying life. Each day you will become more resilient and empowered as you do the little things that lead to the big things. Loving yourself creates a life that is filled with purpose, passion, and fulfillment. That image in your mind’s eye is within your reach, you just have to create the boundaries.

Self-love is not a selfish act, but rather a necessary foundation for living a truly fulfilling and authentic life. When we embrace self-love, we unlock our full potential and become better equipped to navigate the challenges and joys of life. It is a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-empowerment and the payoff is priceless. Remember: no one gets it right every single day.There will be moments where we struggle to extend the same compassion to ourselves that we offer to others. This is the grace part where we can pause, reflect, and make peace with ourselves.

By approaching ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and support that we would offer a loved one, we cultivate a deep well of self-acceptance and self-compassion. This, in turn, allows us to fulfill the dictionary definition of proper regard for our own happiness and well-being.